*me and middle sister talking about a friend of mine i haven't seen in a while*
Little sister: Why, you guys meeting up somewhere or something?
Me: She's gonna be at my brother's on Saturday. Haven't seen her since school got out.
Littlest sister (5yrs old): I'm gonna graduate soon!
*all look at each other*
Littlest sister: Cause I'm gonna be done with school soon. I'm graduating.
Little sister: Yeah, from kindergarten....
i’m so upset i have to choose between being asleep and being on the computer sometimes
spacehamsters: Snow White and The Huntsman plot twist: Chris Hemsworth is the fairest of them all.
playing video games
10 minutes later
me: I DIED AND ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
TUMBLR GROUP HUG!!! (reblog to join)
cailencrow: atticusbitch: themarvelfan5647: Puny God. when i saw the movie, the entire audience applauded during this. Just gonna put this here. Right here. I actually never heard the Hulk speak the first time I watched the movie because the audience was DYING. The first two times I saw it I didn’t hear Loki’s wheeze. And I didn’t hear the Hulk speak the first time...
guys i find attractive
twice my age
power crazy Asgardian God ;)
friend: so, what type of guys are you into?
me: fictional, mostly.
Momma: So....19 years ago...it woulda been Monday this year, they had to turn you...
Me: I'm sorry Momma...
Momma: Shoulda known you'd turn out like this if they had to do that before you were even born...
Momma: *hugs me and giggles*
Momma: And then 19 years ago yesterday, I was walking around at a fair with contractions.
Me: I'M SORRY OK???
Momma: Hey hey hey, don't look at me like that! I love you honey!
homosaurus-rex: It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.